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May 2, 2023 by Christopher Hooker

Kindergarten Anxiety and Behavioral Changes

Photo by Element5 Digital on Unsplash

It’s Nearly That Time Again

With spring in full bloom and summer just ‘round the corner, it’s getting close to time to say goodbye to an entire class of friends again! As much as we will miss our intrepid co-learners as they journey forward into becoming elementary students, we know it is time for them to take the next important step. We want our outgoing kids to continue to grow and experience rich lives full of kindness and friendship. We have enjoyed sharing both these virtues on their journey through their preschool years.

The Uncertain Road Ahead

In the months ahead, as we hear from some of the parents of our co-learners, we expect to see some of the children struggling to maintain the same balances they had as co-learners of Creekside Kids. We see a lot of anxiety within kids as they prepare to leave for kindergarten. These expressions of feelings can often come out as what may be seen as negative behaviors but in fact are an expression of their anxieties regarding the upcoming changes. We’ve talked about this subject before, about how preschools and parents can create anxiety in children without even meaning to, by focusing on how different things will be when they leave, because it’s important to us that our kids go on to be successful in a more academically oriented environment. We want them to continue to feel loved and valued by their old teachers and school— but not to turn back for what they know and trust.

The stress of changing to both a new school and a new way of doing things can be difficult for children, especially those children who have become used to years of a specific routine. In preparing a child for that change, it can be difficult to ride the line between under-preparing them for what is to come and over-preparing them until it all seems like too much to process. 

Common Triggers

The kind of anxiety that conversations about kindergarten can trigger is enormous. And these anxieties may lead to behavioral changes. When they are told, “when you do that in kindergarten, you’re going to be in big trouble,” their common mistakes become dangerous to them, as they are still building trust in their new educational environment. 

Here is a list of some things to watch out for when your child is making the transition from pre-k to kindergarten:

Tantrums without an identifiable trigger. If there are sudden triggers that seem unrelated to the events, and your child cannot express what fears are dysregulating them, it might be something so big, they don’t know how to talk to you about it because ‘going to big kids school’ is now expected of them. Appreciative inquiry about their feelings about leaving one school with trusted teachers and peers and moving to an unfamiliar school with unfamiliar teachers and peers may help the children be able to talk about their feelings.

Fear of criticism. When kids are nurtured in daycare or pre-K programs, they are rarely given criticism for their efforts; they hear criticism when they violate a rule, not when they color outside the lines. As they enter a different school, they may find themselves suddenly ‘wrong’– or perhaps less ‘right’– than a fellow student. This can trigger their fight/flight/freeze/fawn response. This can be lessened by going over their mistakes and reassuring them that the errors are not unforgivable in their new setting. 

Freezing in place. When you get the signal that taking action and growing up has led you to a difficult new environment, there can be a tendency to freeze one’s self in time and reject choices that lead to risks. Children have a tremendous capacity for learning, so if there are telltale signs of an unwillingness to try new things, it may be an unconscious expression of their fear of change. Highlight how much fun learning is and how much they are already growing, even when they don’t actively try to grow.  Above all, model mistake making for them and express that it is okay to make mistakes.

Trouble sleeping. Rest is important, but anxieties about the change in the environment and difficulties of making new friends, etc. can spur sleeplessness, and kids staying up all night to play in the way that was acceptable in pre-K are a problem in kindergarten. This is one of the hardest symptoms to overcome, as an off-hours sleep schedule can throw an entire household out of routine. We suggest reassurance and praise at bedtime, and an insistence upon device-free bedtime routines.

The logical focus for dealing with anxiety is to teach kids to verbalize their anxieties and seek help, rather than adults trying to eliminate every obstacle they encounter. Love and understanding from you, talking about feelings and labeling them as well as breathing exercises, meditation and counting, self-reassurance, and play-date introductions to new friends can help them get past their anxieties and on to new adventures. If you’d like to discuss a place at Creekside Kids for your kids, we invite you to click this embedded link to schedule an appointment. Let’s get to know each other! Like us on Facebook to follow our stories for news and updates. We’re located at 1201 W Cheyenne Road, Colorado Springs, CO 80906, and we can be reached at (719) 635-9111. Our new hours of operation are 6:45 am until 5:45 pm, Monday through Friday.

Filed Under: Parents Tips Tagged With: Kindergarten Anxiety, moving on, Tantrums, triggers

December 1, 2022 by Christopher Hooker

Holiday Frustrations and Tantrums

Image by Lee Murry from Pixabay

The Dark Side of the Holidays

The nights are starting earlier, Thanksgiving is done, and Christmas lights are sparkling all over Colorado Springs. The Holiday season is upon us once again, and with COVID-19 mostly behind us, we’re able to have those big family gatherings and togetherness that we missed in 2020 and 2021.

As wonderful as the holidays can be, and as precious as our children can be during these bright days, there’s a dark side to it all. With an easy wrong turn, children can go from adorable cherubs to angry, frustrated versions of themselves–all in the blink of an eye! 

Santa: Rat Fink

He sees you when you’re sleeping

He knows when your awake

He knows when you’ve been bad or good

So be good for goodness sake

– Santa Claus is Coming to Town, 

  1. Fred Coots and Haven Gillespie

 

The holiday tantrums seem to be related to the idea of gifts and Santa Claus. Kids struggle with understanding the ethos of gift-giving unless they have been walked carefully through an understanding. It’s important to know that Santa is a terrible problem for most children. He’s an omnipresent, omniscient character who can decide how their holidays will resolve. 

Parents have long used Santa Claus as a means of demanding better behavior from children. Does it really work the way it should, though? Do kids have the capacity to alter their behavior in that way? Can they retain those rules so strongly that they adopt better behavior?

The answer is: not very well. Kids are still forming their characters and have many lessons to learn before they can effectively deal with an offered ‘wish’ being threatened by their own natural behavior. The threat of displeasing Santa and not receiving a nice gift has many negative effects on kids. The worst being that it makes love and appreciation transactional if it works at all.

The threat of Santa punishing them with coal (or just not bringing the gift they most want) makes children aware of a consequence for naughtiness at too early an age, and teaches them that they will be rewarded if they comply and punished if they fail to be ‘good’. A pre-school age child who enters a conflict with another child isn’t thinking of Santa. They’re thinking of how to navigate, survive, and thrive in a social situation with limited supervision from adults. But once a rule is broken, then, they will think of Santa– and contemplate the loss of a reward they were hoping for. 

If the threat against their wish is revealed to be just a threat, it can be harmful to their character, leading to entitlement and a lack of respect for the behavior that is expected from them. Empty threats just don’t work.

We can’t blame Santa alone

There are other factors leading to highly emotional, volatile tantrums during the holiday season:

Sugar Highs

Most Holiday celebrations include lots of sugary treats, and the peaks of a sugar high eventually lead to the valley of a sugar crash. Be mindful of what your child is eating and keep sugar treats to designated times, for everyone. 

Disrupted Schedules and Routines

The more typical the routines over the holidays, the better with the exception of slowing down and dropping a few typical activities in favor of baking and cooking together, reading stories and snuggling and playing games.  Late nights and too many parties/activities can really throw a preschooler out of whack.

Social Tensions

Kids are receptive to family strife, from parents with underlying anger to relatives who resent being in close quarters with the extended family. The emotional pressure kids can build on these kinds of factors could lead to a terrible tantrum.

So what can we do?

The most important thing we can do for our kids is to let go of the expectation of perfect behavior. Walk your child through some of the likely pressure points they will feel and help them navigate their darker feelings. Be mindful, and watch their sugar intake, and the influence the extended family has on their wellbeing. Be patient, and don’t hold Jolly St. Nick over their heads, for goodness sake.

If you’d like to discuss a place at Creekside Kids for your kids, we’d like to invite you to click this embedded link to schedule an appointment. Let’s get to know each other! Like us on Facebook to follow our stories for news and updates. We’re located at 1201 W Cheyenne Road, Colorado Springs, CO 80906, and we can be reached at (719) 635-9111. Our new hours of operation are 6:45 am until 5:45 pm, Monday through Friday.

 

Filed Under: Parents Tips Tagged With: Holiday Frustrations, Mindfulness, Santa, Tantrums

Location & Hours

creekside building
CREEKSIDE KIDS
1201 W Cheyenne Rd
Colorado Springs, CO 80906
(719) 635-9111
 
6:30 am - 5:45 pm
Monday - Friday

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Thank you to all of your wonderful teachers! Athima loves camp every summer. And she learns so much. She will be sad that it is the end. But hope to see you next summer!
Stockinger Family
Dear Creekside Staff, Thank you so much for taking such amazing care of Grace this past year. It means so much to me knowing she was in such wonderful hands and she was so happy there with you. We wish you a wonderful summer and hope to stay in touch. Thank you for everything!
Kimnach Family
Creekside teachers, Thanks for another great year of helping our kids “spread their wings”. You are a wonderful caring group of teachers!
John
Dear Jennifer and Veronica, dear everybody at Creekside Kids! Thank you so much for being wonderful leaders, so caring and fun!
Christopher and Family
Dear Creekside, Thank you for allowing Hanna Grace to borrow books, and for taking care of  my  sweet girl!  
Gina
Veronica, Jennifer, Chris, Libby, Melinda and the team I missed. Thank you so much! We will miss the love, fun and guidance (to us both!) of the Creekside Family!
Julie and Sofia Di Gerlando
Thank you so much for everything! You guys are great with kiddos and we would recommend you to anyone. We’ll miss you and we appreciate the time Eli had here. Thanks!
The Wilson Family
Thank you for the wonderful two years at Creekside. We have always felt safe and secure and have enjoyed all the fun and educational activities. We will miss you as Nick moves on to Kindergarten.
Elizabeth, Joe and Nicholas

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creekside building
1201 W Cheyenne Rd
Colorado Springs, CO 80906  
 
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(719) 635-9111

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Testimonials

Dear Creekside Staff, Thank you so much for taking such amazing care of Grace this past year. It … Read more
Kimnach Family
Read more...
Dear Jennifer and Veronica, dear everybody at Creekside Kids! Thank you so much for being wonderful … Read more
Christopher and Family
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Thank you for the wonderful two years at Creekside. We have always felt safe and secure and have enj… Read more
Elizabeth, Joe and Nicholas
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Thank you so much for everything! You guys are great with kiddos and we would recommend you to anyon… Read more
The Wilson Family
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Dear Creekside, Thank you for allowing Hanna Grace to borrow books, and for taking care of  my … Read more
Gina
Read more...
Veronica, Jennifer, Chris, Libby, Melinda and the team I missed. Thank you so much! We will miss … Read more
Julie and Sofia Di Gerlando
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Thank you to all of your wonderful teachers! Athima loves camp every summer. And she learns so much.… Read more
Stockinger Family
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Creekside teachers, Thanks for another great year of helping our kids “spread their wings”. You a… Read more
John
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