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July 1, 2022 by Christopher Hooker

Young Children and Grief

Image by Mark Filter from Pixabay

Our preschool-aged kids are precious and although we worry about their fragility, they are much stronger than we understand.  We want to watch over them as much as we can, but part of how we cope with life is learning that things don’t always go our way. And this is very true about death.  Death is a universal issue for all and incorporating the harsh reality of it into our lives is best done proactively and with loving reassurance.

I’ve recently been back East for the funeral of my older sister, Patty, the eldest of my siblings. There’s been a balance between ritual and chaos from moment-to-moment, and it’s been a struggle to process my feelings at times.  I accept that I’ll never get a chance to say all of the things I wanted to say to her and know that I will miss her for the rest of my life. My niece and nephew who are both in their early 20s were never educated about death and have never had anyone close to them pass away, so it was even harder than it could have been to face the unfortunate death of their mother.

My own two girls (who are now in their teens) have not had a life sheltered from death. Since before they were small enough to understand the finality of death, they have been allowed to experience grief for pets. The first pet to die was a fish—eaten by the cat while we were on vacation.  It was a small introduction to the finality of death and while we read books about the death of a pet and had a funeral ceremony for the fish after the loss, I realized I should have been exposing the children in a very gentle way through books before they experienced the first loss.  I’ve made sure to address the issue over the years proactively with books and discussions and gently allowing them to experience the loss of a few pets. Since then, they’ve also had the very real grief of schoolmates and relatives passing on—many all too soon. We have taught them the rituals of grief and honoring the departed as part of the process of recovery. We hope we modeled it well for them and that they will be ready for that day when they lose a parent. 

In trying to protect their kids, parents can sometimes do misguided things such as try to replace a lost guppy with another one, or even try to do this with a cat or bird! This practice is misguided in that it does not allow the child to process through their love for a specific pet. It’s also very unlikely to work. Others tell their children that the pet moved away to a farm somewhere, which leaves the child lost and without closure. We fear what the burden of grief will do to our children at such a tender age. But grief is part of living. A child that never experiences death in their young life will have no tools to process grief when they grow older. 

For a generation of kids, they first experienced the concept of death and grief with THE LION KING. As films go, THE LION KING is traumatic, but a valuable first lesson in death: kids see a child interacting with their dead parent, unable to wake them, and the absence of that parent’s protection makes in their young life. Eventually, the child grows into their own agency, and triumphs– and that’s an excellent first look at recovery.  BAMBI also loses his mother and is consoled by his father.  

It’s important that kids understand what death is without confusion and without platitudes that make the adults around them feel better. Death is natural. Losing a pet will naturally devastate a young child. Losing an uncle or grandparent is hard, but it’s an important first step before the people even closer to them pass on.

It’s also important that kids understand that their grief is valid. Adults and other kids can be impatient with a grieving child. Your child needs to know that a person’s grief– whether their grief or someone else’s– is not on a timetable. A grieving child needs patience and respect to move beyond their grief.

There’s a couple of books we’d like to recommend for parents who are encountering their child’s grief for the first time. For the child, Saying Goodbye to Lulu by Corrine Demas gives a relatable account of the grief cycle, as a child experiences it. For parents, we recommend “It’s Okay That You’re Not Okay”, by Megan Devine. for what it can teach both the grieving and those around the grieving about how our culture doesn’t process grief properly.

If you’d like to discuss a place at Creekside Kids for your kids, we’d like to invite you to click this embedded link to schedule an appointment. Let’s get to know each other! Like us on Facebook to follow our stories for news and updates. We’re located at 1201 W Cheyenne Road, Colorado Springs, CO 80906, and we can be reached at (719) 635-9111. Our new hours of operation are 6:45 am until 5:45 pm, Monday through Friday.

Filed Under: Parents Tips Tagged With: death, grief

June 1, 2022 by Christopher Hooker

Teaching Your Kids About Swimming and Dangers

Image by wileylong from Pixabay

Summertime is here! As our kids turn to wading pools, swimming pools and creeks to cool down this hot summer, it’s the right time to consider the dangers; specifically, the threat of drowning, and understanding the missed indicators of danger to your child. Drowning is thought to be a loud, noisy, splashy moment; in reality, most drownings are quiet and sudden.

Understandably, drowning is something we worry about, but also believe we can prevent with casual supervision. But statistically speaking, children younger than one-year-old are more likely to drown at home. Without the proper training, it’s not easy for a parent to recognize the signs that their child is in trouble. A splashing, playful kid can look just as in danger as one in trouble if you can’t read the signs.

The signs that a child is drowning are mostly about their posture in the water and are very subtle. They can happen right in front of people who don’t know what to look for. Here are the common signs of a child in water distress:

  • Gasping — children with clear lungs can speak as they swim; a gasping child may be taking on water and struggling for breath.
  • Mouth — if your child’s mouth is at water level, that can be an indication that the child is having trouble keeping their head above water. If your child’s mouth is hovering at the water level, your child may be in need of rescue.
  • Arms — if a child’s arms are out to the side, it’s an indication that they aren’t actively trying to swim. If the arms seem to flap like wings, it may be an attempt to signal for help that is being thwarted by the water overtaking them.
  • Head — when a child’s head is tilted back as opposed to level, that’s a possible sign they may be in trouble and taking on water. Equally, it can just be floating– if the child is active, they are likely okay; if they are still with a tilted-back head, they may need assistance.
  • Vertical — if your child is vertical in the water, there isn’t enough motion to suggest they are in control of their swimming and may be in trouble.

A child with a vertical body with arms out to the side and a mouth at the water line is definitely in need of assistance. There are also dangers that can come after a swim: dry drowning and secondary drowning. 

Dry drowning means that you can drown far from any body of water. You can drown in a gulp of water that causes your child’s vocal chords to constrict. Water never reaches the lungs, but neither does  the oxygen they need to survive.

Secondary drowning is when water does get into the lungs, and takes up residence, leading to fluid build up and death. A child saved from drowning in a body of water can still go to sleep and later drown in their own fluids.

We can never provide absolute safety where swimming is concerned. Swimming with trained lifeguards on duty is the safest way to take your child swimming. As parents, we need to have awareness and vigilance, and teach our friends and kids to look out for each other, too. Please feel free to pass this blog on to all of your friends with kids who enjoy swimming! We want this summer to be safe for you and your kids. 

If you’d like to discuss a place at Creekside Kids for your kids, we’d like to invite you to click this embedded link to schedule an appointment. Let’s get to know each other! Like us on Facebook to follow our stories for news and updates. We’re located at 1201 W Cheyenne Road, Colorado Springs, CO 80906, and we can be reached at (719) 635-9111. Our new hours of operation are 6:45 am until 5:45 pm, Monday through Friday. 

Filed Under: Uncategorized

May 1, 2022 by Christopher Hooker

The Five Different Types of Preschools: An Overview

How does a parent decide what kind of preschool their child should attend to begin their education? When parents first start looking for their child’s preschool, they are usually looking for a school that will replicate the kind of focus that they have at home. They’re looking for a ‘good fit’ for their child — a place their child can do well in, and grow confident in themselves.

If you aren’t aware, there are many different kinds of preschools for your child, including the ‘sit and watch television’ daycare models (no, thank you). But there are five basic archetypes for actual preschools dedicated to giving your child a learning experience with direct supervision. The spectrum seems to run on a line going from rigorous academics to exploring a child’s potential through child-led exploration to simple free play. At Creekside Kids, we’re not on the extreme end of either side of the spectrum–we are in the middle, taking the best of each method depending upon the needs of the actual children in our care.

What are the five different types of preschools?

Academic-Based — these schools are most focused on fitting your square peg child into the round hole. To quote Sarah Punkoney of stayathomeeducator.com, “Academic or skills-based programs are teacher directed and managed.  This means that children have limited choice in the learning that takes place and how that learning happens.” This approach molds the child on a predetermined path. Although our view of this may make it sound harsh, please bear in mind that many children thrive on this approach– but what concerns us at Creekside is the holistic development of the whole child.

Montessori — the difference between the Montessori approach and Academic-based learning is that the child chooses how to squeeze their square peg potential into that round hole. The lesson plans are customized by the child’s aptitudes and interests. The Montessori system has a marvelous reputation for giving children a better chance. Being self-directed is very important in this model–especially as kids mature.

Waldorf — to stick to our analogy, the Waldorf model looks to find a universal shape that all children can fit into, building well-rounded children who are mindful and have received personal attention along the way.  The Waldorf model has a specific scope and sequence for each grade and has great respect for rhythm and routine.  The development of a child’s hands (physical health and growth), heart (non secular spiritual/social/emotional growth) and mind (academics, inquisitiveness and contemplative skills). 

Reggio Emilia — this is Creekside’s holistic approach. In the analogy, this is about finding the precise shape for the child’s peg to fit, even if your child’s star-shape allows them to fit in a round hole. Play is greatly incorporated into lessons and is encouraged as a learning tool. It’s important to Reggio Emilia education to focus on finding that star-shaped hole to guide your child into their future, respecting their individual needs and giving them the kind of attention that translates into a sense of self-worth.  In each Reggio Emilia or Reggio Emilia influenced school (like Creekside Kids) we ask who are the children in our care?  Who are their families and what do they need/value?  Then what community do they live in and how can we help the children develop into successful members of that community?  We do this by observing how the children play, what they talk about, what they create through free art, etc.  We then take their interests and build the ABCs and 123s into exploring those topics. 

Play-Based — when academic preparation isn’t the concern, but learning social/emotional skills is, that is play-based preschool. While children may learn a few academics such as the alphabet song, counting to 10 or 20 and how to write their name, they do it without much pressure or guidance from educators. For the children, academic learning is done on their own terms and in their own time.  You’ll see a lot of “centers” in the classroom such as “kitchen/house”, “library”, “sensory table”, “music” and “art”.  At Creekside Kids, we have those centers too but we add in much more teacher interaction, experiments, exploratory play and focus not just on the social/emotional play approach. 

All of these styles have merit and any might be right for your child. At Creekside Kids, we largely favor the Reggio Emilia approach with influence from the Play-Based approach and we pull from the routines and literacy methods of the Waldorf approach.  We provide a combined approach because we feel it creates the greatest opportunities to respect what is unique and special in each child. If you’d like to discuss a place at Creekside Kids for your kids, we’d like to invite you to click this embedded link to schedule an appointment. Let’s get to know each other! Like us on Facebook to follow our stories for news and updates. We’re located at 1201 W Cheyenne Road, Colorado Springs, CO 80906, and we can be reached at (719) 635-9111. Our new hours of operation are 6:45 am until 5:45 pm, Monday through Friday.

Filed Under: Parents Tips

April 1, 2022 by Christopher Hooker

Mindful Parenting: Mindful Mama Mentor

Photo by CDC on Unsplash

The Four Basic Styles of Parenting

We imprint so much onto our developing young children. Your style of parenting can determine much about your child’s future. The four basic styles of parenting are Authoritarian, Authoritative, Permissive and Uninvolved/Neglectful.  While each child in a family may need different styles of parenting and each child needs parenting styles to flex as they grow, most parents have a tough time changing their style and being consistent with matching their child’s changing needs.  

 

One of the key points of the musical “The Sound of Music” is the differing parenting styles of Captain von Trapp, and the governess he hires to look after his children in his absence, Maria Rainer. In the film version of the musical, the Captain is an Authoritarian who uses a whistle to bring the children to order, forces the children to line up in military formation, and offers little affection to them. Maria upsets his style when she accepts their hazing gracefully to avoid seeing them disciplined and they begin to trust her as an Authoritative presence. They see her as both protector and warder. She takes it further by listening to them and supporting their individual learning needs. Because she leads as much as sets boundaries, they understand their footing with her as they develop into the next phase of their lives.

 

When the Captain returns, he finds his carefully-laid and disciplined upbringing disrupted, and has to employ the whistle and a sharp tone to bring the kids in line with his ideas.  While the order gives him comfort, it harms the children who have lost their mother and need a gentle loving presence.  The father is both Authoritarian and emotionally Neglectful.  Out of view of the children, he fires the governess. Only through the miracle of a shared song with his children does he see the connection he has lost in holding back his affection and demanding perfect behavior from imperfect, growing humans.

What is Mindful Parenting?

It’s not surprising that you may not have heard the term “Mindful Parenting” before this blog. Mindful Parenting is a product of MindfulMamaMentor.com, a parenting website and resource that I have found very helpful in both my professional work and in my personal life.

 

The expression Mindful Parenting is about self-awareness as a parent. Parents sometimes let their reactions get the better of them, without taking into consideration the long-term effects what they say and do can have on children. Mindful Parenting is being firm without being aggressive. It’s setting boundaries without a threat of violence or denial of love/affection if a child messes up. But more than that, it’s approaching your child as a competent, capable person who can respond to your lead without fear of punishment.

 

For instance: it’s faster to shout to get the attention of a misbehaving child. A burst of a warning or a smack on the rear can quickly disrupt a tantrum, but it’s also a violent moment from someone they trust and depend upon. It disrupts more than their behavior, it also disrupts the trust they have in the love of their parents.  Truly, yelling and even a benign pop to the rear is harmful.

Why is Mindful Parenting important?

Uncompassionate discipline can give a child a bad message about size and stature being the deciding factor of who leads — i.e., might makes right. Mindful Parenting sets important balances between a child and their parent. It assures that they are loved, even when they get it wrong; they learn a lesson that they can try again and, with support and patience, get it right, rather than feel desperate to get it right on the first try. 

 

Children raised this way are taught leadership instead of tyranny, and they follow the lead to become leaders themselves, instead of shrinking under their fears. It escapes the kind of transactional love. They learn that they are loved endlessly and encouraged to do their best, instead of demanding a satisfactory or great performance to receive love from their parents.

 

Children who are raised under Mindful Parenting are more likely to become critical thinkers, because they are allowed to work things out instead of being told to follow the path their parents guide them. They become active partners in their education instead of passive receivers of information and facts.

Creekside Kids believes in a Mindful Parenting approach

Creekside uses Mindful Parenting in our teaching approach. Our co-learners foster self-esteem in children and work to be allies in rounded development that works at the pace of the child — not at the whistle of the parent or authority figure.

If you’d like to discuss a place at Creekside Kids for your kids, we’d like to invite you to click this embedded link to schedule an appointment. Let’s get to know each other! Like us on Facebook to follow our stories for news and updates. We’re located at 1201 W Cheyenne Road, Colorado Springs, CO 80906, and we can be reached at (719) 635-9111. Our regular hours of operation are 6:30 am until 5:45 pm, Monday through Friday; however, we have a shortened schedule during COVID of 7:00 am to 5:30 pm.

Filed Under: Parents Tips Tagged With: Mindful Parenting

March 1, 2022 by Christopher Hooker

Boredom Versus Overstimulation and Its Effects on Children & Families

Photo by Allen Taylor on Unsplash

It’s considered part of our job as parents to expose our kids to all sorts of activities, sports, and new experiences in modern America. 

As parents ourselves and as co-learners alongside your amazing children, we know first-hand that parenting isn’t an easy role. We’re responsible for the development of a separate personality– and that can be daunting in our modern world in which there is 24-hour per day access to media and even many activities.  In America, we have plenty of opportunities and to deny a child the chance to see a live performance, go to a museum, learn an instrument, play sports, swim lessons, karate lessons, etc. from an early age feels as though we might be risking their future success. 

We’ve been anxious parents trying to fill every moment of our children’s day with stimulating activities, and we’ve seen others do it too on this same mad dash to nowhere. It’s time to slow the pace for our little ones through their early childhood years and trust that their brains are meant to develop slowly and without 24/7 stimulation.  So how do we navigate these waters?

We’re in a new age of media, one based on endless choice and instant gratification.

Our parents waited years for films with the same cast as our favorite matinee feature to be made, and there was no guarantee they would ever see those films in the end. Even beloved comic books came out once a month. Football games were played and televised on the weekends and only during the season.  TV shows played once and if you missed it you missed it.  There were a few video games but they were primitive.  The newspaper came once per day and the news was on once or twice at night.  Most TV channels stopped playing content at 12:00 a.m. until early the next morning.  Children were taken to live shows on occasion and may or may not have had music or dance lessons.  There were team sports but not for preschoolers.  Everything was slower paced and later in a child’s life.

Our generation saw the demise of the slow life.  We’re an OnDemand world that no longer waits for gratification. And we’re raising children in this same environment of media saturation. 

How are our kids learning and growing in this new age?

It can be great to have a continuous feed of entertainment for kids when we’re busy with tasks. But overstimulation can block creativity in our kids. For the most part, modern entertainment pacifies but doesn’t challenge our kids to grow and explore. 

Our kids are stressed out earlier than in previous generations and so are parents.  We are seeing more and more parents of young children (through at least the early years of elementary school) who are getting off the merry-go-round of endless activities/sports/lessons for their children and thriving as families and happy people who live quieter lives.  There is an adjustment period while everyone unlearns dependence on media and learns to be comfortable with the quiet times.  The children tend to adapt more quickly and fill the media/activity void with their imaginations and creativity.  Adults tend to take longer but if they lean in and participate in the imaginative play of their children close bonds are created.

The best part of escaping the rat race of parenting is that the neural pathways in the brain which seek stimulation from media and instant reinforcers grow weaker and the neural connections in the brain which seek stimulation from interactions and relationships grow stronger as we disassociate from constant stimulation and activities.  Children become more innovative and connected with their families.

The answer may be to let them be bored. 

It seems kind of counterintuitive to simply not plan for the busy hands of young pre-school children to be engaged. But humans are an ancient species whose brains have historically developed without constant stimulation and activities.  It’s what we are designed to do.  We are designed for a slower life filled with rhythm, routine, and time for storytelling and the arts along with nights spent around a fire being close and connected.  In our modern world, allowing children to be at loose ends and bored is actually a gift.

To quote Cori Berg, “Young children need large blocks of uninterrupted time with many opportunities to make their own choices.  Preschool shouldn’t look like high school switching from class to class.” Without taking choice away, we can guide them to socially-responsible choices and teach them both trust and creative use of our time.

Overscheduled kids can stall the development of a young mind. We need to allow time for kids to be still. Boredom inspires creativity and builds imagination. It’s about regulating your own pace when you have time to reflect on it, and it’s a deep lesson that our children can learn by experience. Work on setting boundaries for your kids about what they can do in their unscheduled hours, instead of setting up activities just to keep them occupied.

If you’d like to discuss a place at Creekside Kids for your kids, we’d like to invite you to click this embedded link to schedule an appointment. Let’s get to know each other! Like us on Facebook to follow our stories for news and updates. We’re located at 1201 W Cheyenne Road, Colorado Springs, CO 80906, and we can be reached at (719) 635-9111. Our regular hours of operation are 6:30 am until 5:45 pm, Monday through Friday; however, we have a shortened schedule during COVID of 7:00 am to 5:30 pm.

Filed Under: Parents Tips

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creekside building
CREEKSIDE KIDS
1201 W Cheyenne Rd
Colorado Springs, CO 80906
(719) 635-9111
 
6:30 am - 5:45 pm
Monday - Friday

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Thank you to all of your wonderful teachers! Athima loves camp every summer. And she learns so much. She will be sad that it is the end. But hope to see you next summer!
Stockinger Family
Dear Creekside Staff, Thank you so much for taking such amazing care of Grace this past year. It means so much to me knowing she was in such wonderful hands and she was so happy there with you. We wish you a wonderful summer and hope to stay in touch. Thank you for everything!
Kimnach Family
Creekside teachers, Thanks for another great year of helping our kids “spread their wings”. You are a wonderful caring group of teachers!
John
Dear Jennifer and Veronica, dear everybody at Creekside Kids! Thank you so much for being wonderful leaders, so caring and fun!
Christopher and Family
Dear Creekside, Thank you for allowing Hanna Grace to borrow books, and for taking care of  my  sweet girl!  
Gina
Veronica, Jennifer, Chris, Libby, Melinda and the team I missed. Thank you so much! We will miss the love, fun and guidance (to us both!) of the Creekside Family!
Julie and Sofia Di Gerlando
Thank you so much for everything! You guys are great with kiddos and we would recommend you to anyone. We’ll miss you and we appreciate the time Eli had here. Thanks!
The Wilson Family
Thank you for the wonderful two years at Creekside. We have always felt safe and secure and have enjoyed all the fun and educational activities. We will miss you as Nick moves on to Kindergarten.
Elizabeth, Joe and Nicholas

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creekside building
1201 W Cheyenne Rd
Colorado Springs, CO 80906  
 
6:30 am - 5:45 pm
Monday - Friday
(719) 635-9111

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Testimonials

Creekside teachers, Thanks for another great year of helping our kids “spread their wings”. You a… Read more
John
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Dear Creekside Staff, Thank you so much for taking such amazing care of Grace this past year. It … Read more
Kimnach Family
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Thank you to all of your wonderful teachers! Athima loves camp every summer. And she learns so much.… Read more
Stockinger Family
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Dear Creekside, Thank you for allowing Hanna Grace to borrow books, and for taking care of  my … Read more
Gina
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Thank you for the wonderful two years at Creekside. We have always felt safe and secure and have enj… Read more
Elizabeth, Joe and Nicholas
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Dear Jennifer and Veronica, dear everybody at Creekside Kids! Thank you so much for being wonderful … Read more
Christopher and Family
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Thank you so much for everything! You guys are great with kiddos and we would recommend you to anyon… Read more
The Wilson Family
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Veronica, Jennifer, Chris, Libby, Melinda and the team I missed. Thank you so much! We will miss … Read more
Julie and Sofia Di Gerlando
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